Sometimes you just get laid off. It’s just as simple as that. Sometimes it really is personal, most of the time it’s not. I was lucky enough to learn this early on in my career in finance when I stumbled into the Mortgage Backed Securities (MBS) division at my first “grownup” job.
In fact I have been lucky enough to experience an “unemployment reset” twice now in my career and I’ll explain why I think everyone should go through it at least once or even better a few times.
Early Lessons: I say I was lucky enough for it to happen early for me because it disassociated me personally from what was going on with a particular company or a particular market.
When I arrived green at the MBS division I was your typical energetic and full of hope graduate and I didn’t know a thing. Although in June 2007, I had seen some headlines about the MBS market slowing down, I figured this credit oriented role I was going into would see a pick up in intensity as investors and managers used the group’s expertise to navigate a choppy market. How wrong I was.
As the mortgage market nervously deteriorated through 2007, things got progressively worse. Rumors started to circulate among the analysts: Bank of America had offered all their first year analysts a year’s salary just to walk away a few months after hiring them (what a deal that was in retrospect), rumors of revenue falling off a cliff in our division abound.
Then in early 2008 came the collapse of Bear Stearns. I remember talking with the analysts about what was going on with the stock so we decided to check it on a live ticker online. I recall everyone’s eyes fixated on the little line refreshing and drawing itself on google finance bumping slowly and steadily straight along when it suddenly leaped off a cliff and torpedoed downwards by 10% as we nervously looked on.
Soon after, layoffs were announced in our group of 70 people. 35 were cut immediately, of the other 30 or so that survived, we were told we only had a few months. This included some pretty capable workers, people who were smart, talented and diligent. That’s when it hit me: when you are in the wrong market and a tsunami takes over you there is nothing you can do. I found some solace in the fact that I wasn’t singled out but was just part of a mass wave for which I likely could have done little to prevent. For this reason instead of feeling sorry for myself, I poured my energy into my search.
What I Learned: Don’t take it personal, focus on your own journey. Look forward and embrace the excitement that can come with new beginnings and change.
Second Time Around: Next came a long period of relative stability. 9 years at another job in a completely different market (thankfully). This time the wave I caught was lucky.
By chance the employer I moved to ended up being a safe haven given the events of the crisis. When the dust settled they were one of the few players left in the market and I moved up as our group’s revenue and headcount increased.
In the first few years in that role, I was constantly pushing myself to learn and grow within the organization, which was exciting for me. First I learned the processes and the quirks of the IT systems. Then I got to know the culture and began to network internally. Finally, when I was allowed to meet clients, and I expanded my network again while showcasing the internal knowledge I had gained over the years.
It eventually reached a point however, where instead of being worried about learning more and networking, I started to question the path that management and the organization were taking. It’s normal to have a different opinion on how to approach solutions and business, but when you start to question the way things are done on a consistent basis, it may be a strong signal that it’s time for you to leave.
There is a saying that your personality reflects the 5 people you surround yourself with most often. Chances are if you have been at an employer a long time you will start to reflect some of the traits of that culture in your life as well. It’s important to ask yourself then, does this company have a culture that I would want to reflect in how I treat my friends and family? If not you should be heading for the door.
I ran into this same issue as I started to chafe against the culture of my former workplace. For many the culture was acceptable or they were willing to endure it for the stability of the job and the paycheck. In retrospect, I realize now that I spent the last few years convincing myself that the benefits of that company outweighed the negatives on my mental and emotional health. However I harbored a desire to be let go, which due to my tenure, would mean I would be given a pretty generous severance package.
The Break and Reflection: When the day came, it was a bit of a shock but looking back on it, it shouldn’t have been. However because of my desire to leave had become so apparent, I likely just needed that push off the edge to get me moving. After they gave me the news, I was set up with a “transition consultant” who remarked he had only seen a few people in his whole career as happy as I was right after they received the news.
For years I had dreamed about not working anymore, or at least working for myself becoming a successful entrepreneur or blogger. I used to think that if only I had enough time during the day, and didn’t have this stressful job in the way, I could get so much more achieved in terms of moving towards my goal of being self employed and self sustaining.
The reality I encountered when I actually had 9 months of pay and all day free, was quite different.
Having the set schedule of a traditional job disciplined me, when I didn’t have that structure anymore, my wife or screaming child would be waking me up most mornings instead of the alarm. Since I was home all day, my wife leaned on me more for the maintenance of the house. This was fine, as I knew it needed to be done but along with child rearing, became extremely monotonous and mentally taxing over time. I eventually gained a new respect for stay at home parents and the challenges they face on a daily basis. I started to realize that maybe life at home all day, even if I am working from home, wasn’t for me. Getting up, getting ready and going somewhere else, gave me a change of environment that allowed me to focus my mind, I would have never learned this about myself without having to be home and doing housework all day.
In addition, I had a lot of time to reflect on what went wrong in my former role. When I had a chance to do that, I realized that what was really holding me back was not any one person or organization but was me. What specifically was holding me back within myself was fear, fear of going out there and leaving the comfort and stability of my role for something new and unsure. I spent a lot of time justifying to myself why I should stay there out of fear of the worst case scenario. What if the job was worse? What if I was laid off right away? How would I then pay my rent? Take care of my family? These are scary things to think about, especially when you are the primary breadwinner.
However, thinking in this way was a disservice to myself. I was discounting my tenacity, work ethic and my resourcefulness. I was discounting all the opportunities available to me having established myself as a high performer in 10 years in the financial industry in New York. I was also discounting what I already had physically as well: a home that I owned, which although small and not ideal due to its size, could harbor my family affordably while I continued I look for work, a car, my health and savings which could sustain me for some time. All this and I hadn’t even begun to collect unemployment yet because my severance had not run out.
What I Learned: We tend to overemphasize the negative when confronted with uncertainty in our lives. The reality is taking more control of your life may involve some discomfort and uncertainty, but the reality is likely to be much better than the worst case scenario you envisioned.
The Upswing: This new outlook and attitude took time to develop but once it had taken hold, it helped me approach things differently. I noticed my positive attitude shown through in my interviews and I attended taxi school as a safety net in case I did not land a professional job before my severance ran out. Although it is hard work and sitting all day driving can be very tough physically and mentally, it gave me a certain confidence to know that even in the worst case scenario, I would have a means to make an income.
Not long after I adopted this attitude, I was offered a new position with a new client base at a company that I admired. I still managed to finish the requirements for my taxi license and still hold it to this day. I take comfort from the fact that, were all this to happen again, I am even more prepared to face it. I can get laid off on a Monday morning and be earning an income Monday night driving a taxi while I look for my next opportunity.
We can’t control what happens to us but we can control how we react to the things that happen to us. A job loss can either empower or defeat you, which will it do for you?
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